If there's one thing I like about the web savvy, it's this. They know how best to take care of themselves on the internet. And yes, I know you're one of them. I can see it in the reflected glass of that sleek LCD you're staring at. So I'm sure you've also remembered to protect yourself even more and browse the web carefully. Right? I mean, aren't you using one of those other browsers like Firefox, or Opera, or even Safari?

Look. This isn't new. It's quite old, actually. I mean, we've known for years now that Microsoft's own web browser wasn't the safest thing on the block. But let's not lay the total blame on Microsoft for their own security faults. After all, it took hard work to get around and find them. And that effort in and of itself needs to be recognized. Heh :)

But it's like I said a couple of weeks ago. Viruses go where the market is. Those people who are getting infected right now because of M$'s little mistake aren't your typical web-savvy user. Oh no. You see, it's much easier and more profitable to infect those users who don't know what they're doing and prefer to use whatever's on the table. Think about it. Do you pick up the first fruit in the produce section or do you look around for a good one? If you're one of the former, then you're easy pickins. Call me up sometime, will ya?

I will give you a bit of advice, though. Like I said, I like you web savvy guys. So here it is:

Don't get smug just because you ducked this little threat. It doesn't mean that you can't get infected either.

Since IE's market share may drop due to this little scare, you can expect the hackers to start looking at the alternatives. After all, if you can't get in one door, you start looking at the windows. And believe me, we're looking at every way we can get in. We're voracious, after all!

Stay safe, kiddos.

Now, I don't want to get you guys too scared. After all, I know I'm a scary guy. It's okay. I tend to do that to the pretty and gullible ones. But let's face it. If you're not careful out here in this big wide world intraweb, you're gonna get burned. And the best places to get burned are the places where viruses like me like to turn up the heat.

As anyone whos old as dirt can tell you, we viruses like to be lazy when it comes to terms of delivery. Now, don't get me wrong. There are times where I have to go find a system, actively break down its security, and then leave my calling cards. But there are days in my life where I'd rather just sit back and let someone else do the work for me. Namely--the people I'm trying to hack into. And believe me, it's much easier than you think.

There are a few major and easy areas to break into a computer system.

One of the oldest and most popular is email. There's nothing like a beautiful, juicy attachment to some users. It's like the big red button. Some just can't resist. Unfortunately, with virus scanners and email programs prohibiting certain kinds of attachments, getting in through the email is sooo going out of fashion.

Then came drive-by downloading. Pop ups. Pop unders. Those were fun and terribly annoying. It's something that a little kid with nothing better to do might like. But to be honest, I was never into that sort of stuff. It just seemed too obvious. "Here's a popup window! Guess what it's gonna do!" Right. Popup blockers and better browsers did away with that strategy.

The most popular choices today are peer-to-peer applications and social networking sites. And my how they work wonders. People using P2P programs like uTorrent are really helping to spread the infection. Not because they want to get infected, but because they just can't wait to see the new DVD or hear the new album or get the hottest, newest games. What they don't know is that while I may be packaging that movie, CD, or computer game into my torrents, I'm also leaving little bits of surprises along the way. I call it the "hook, line, and sinker" approach. And trust me when I say I'm catching big fishes.

And as for social networking? Well, what can I say. I can get myself in front of millions of people everyday with the right tools. If that's not enough, I can employ all those other tactics I said before. After all, if there's something in it for you, then I've got to get something out of it for me.

So be careful out there, kiddos. Watch yourself in this dangerous world wide web. Keep an eye out. Or you'll get burned!

I make it a policy to work as hard as I can to infect as many systems as there are people in the world. But there are always those out there that claim that they are invulnerable to viral attacks. These usually take the form of Mac users and Linux users. And, in truth, I have to give them credit. These systems are a lot harder to crack than most others. That doesn't mean that I can't get in there. It just means that it takes a little more time than most.

But let's face it. Yes, I'm talking to you Mac users and you Linux users out there. As "kewl" as those systems are, the reality is that if we took all the fruitcakes and penguins and stuck them in the same room as the broken-glasses waiting to happen, there'd be more broken glass than smashed apples or endangered penguins. In case you didn't follow all that, Mac and Linux are still a minority in this world. And despite current market efforts to change that trend, it'll probably be the case for decades to come.

So what does that mean to viruses like myself? It's simple. Why waste the time working on something that only a few will be a part of? It's not profitable. In fact, the only reasons I would consider cracking one of these lesser systems would have to be based on how much gain I could get personally or whether or not I just really hate the people behind the system in general. And believe you me, if it's the latter, I could really screw up life for a few in an instant.

That's not to say that these systems aren't secure. They are. It really takes talent to pull off some of the hardware crashing, network killing apps that Windows users are constantly protecting themselves against. But the possibilities still exist. And it's that possibility that I tend to exploit when it comes to actually targeting a Mac or Linux machine.

My advice to you: Don't get cocky just because you aren't running a program based on good ol' Uncle Bill's platform. You're not invulnerable, y'know. Even Superman got sloppy and was killed for it. ;)

Happy Thanksgiving, all! I'm sure you're enjoying some form of delicious poultry served with gravy and perhaps some other fixings. Myself? I'm enjoying the day off, lounging in my $2300 easy-chair that came with 6-speaker surround sound and waiting for the caterers to fix me my turkey and ham sandwich. Good help is so hard to find.

But enough about that. What's really got me stoked this week is just how much of an effect Poogull's research and destruction department has been having on our rivals businesses. Productivity is up 40%. If things continue to go this well, we might just be able to afford some of those Christmas bonuses the employees have been talking about. Well....maybe not for them. You can never have too many personal luxury cars, in my opinion.

So while our productivity goes up, our rivals' collective productivity goes down. You see, being a virus isn't always just about destroying a system and making it completely useless. Granted, that's the fun part. I take pride in that part of the job. But the impact on a business is the time that they lose trying to track down my dirty deeds. They spend days trying to clean out every last vestige of the little goodies I hide on the system. They begin to beef up security--installing additional firewalls and virus scanners. Useless, as I'm already in the system. If I can see you installing the security, then I know how to get around it that much easier. But I must admit, I love it when they enact new policies for their employees. No USB devices. No dialing in from home. No more telecommuting. The costs just keep rising. And our rivals just can't compete anymore.

The psychological impact is wonderful too. First, a company typically tries to find someone or something to blame. Someone or someone's entire department gets put on the chopping block and some really intelligent people get the axe. Afterwards, paranoia sets in and the company begins to overthink security while sacrificing time to innovate. As long as their at a standstill trying to diagnose their own flaws, Poogull swoops in and begins taking their really good ideas and developing our own. Finally, when all is said and done, one little virus has turned into one major catastrophe. Poor rival company. Great day to be in Research and Destruction!

So kiddos, take it from me. While you're relaxing there, just remember the value of a good hard day's work. It can really take you places. Heheheheh.

It pays to stay up to date when you're in my business. You simply can't survive in this world without knowing just what your competition is up to. And I don't mean you just watch the news or read the occasional story in the newspaper. You're constantly briefing, testing, and anticipating the next moves of everyone who is in your way.

Take for instance Microsoft OneCare. This was something that we had to be concerned about here in my department because it meant one more type of system we had to defeat. Don't get me wrong, we weren't that worried. After all, MS has been making systems that we viruses have been studying for decades now. But any barrier or resistance to our goals is worth looking at.

Well, not anymore. Hahah! According to PC World, Microsoft is going to throw in the towel while offering some cheap alternative. So what does this mean for me? Well, a couple of things really.

1. I have to study up on yet another anti-virus platform. DULL! If there's one thing I hate doing, it's sitting down and studying. I left that crap in high school.

2. It's gonna be easier to break into your system. Of course, it all depends on just how much MS is gonna push their new alternative. I can't wait to see how easy it will be to break through and start my daily routine of discovery and destruction.

Of course, the easiest and best systems are those without protection in the first place. And Good ol' MS hasn't let me down yet by providing any sort of protection beyond their firewall.

So get worried and get INFECTED! Because it won't be long until you see me EVERYWHERE on the net.

If there's one guy in the company that annoys me the most, it's got to be Cold Click Fraud.  Don't get me wrong, I do admire the guy and I definitely appreciate what he does around the place--paying the bills and such.  But of all the people in the Poogull team dedicated to corporate espionage and intimidation, he's got to be one of the least effective.

But the one thing that really seals it for me is the CLICK-CLICK-CLICK he makes everytime he moves.  The man is old.  OOOOLLLLLDDDD I tell you.  And I swear, that arthritis or rheumatism or whatever he's got is getting worse everyday.  We often make a joke around here at lunch time.  When you hear the old man rattling down the hall, whoever's at the lunch counter has to buy the man an Ensure and leave it for him "courtesy of your friends and co-workers at Poogull".  The funny thing is, he thinks it's a COMPLIMENT.

So if you've been a loyal Poogullite (and I know you have been...after all, you're reading the best blog Poogull has to offer), you've noticed that Old Bones himself seems to be in the net at this very moment battling red-boy and his surfer dude friend.  It's truly a testament to how stupid and dumb this tyBit man is.  How could he NOT hear this guy coming from a mile away?  With all that CLICK-CLICK-CLICKING going on, you could have been long gone before the old guy showed up.  But NOOOOOOOO!  He's relying on some other putz here on tyVille to do his looking out for him.  And that putz couldn't even detect Cold Click Fraud until it was too late.

I swear.  This tyBit man is going to be easy prey for Poogull.  I just hope I get the chance to smack him around a bit.

How many of you have seen something like this pop up on your screen?  Better yet, how many of you have been smart enough to click on it?  Well, according to some sources, at least 30 million of you are what we like to call in the Poogull R&D department "marks".  That roughly translates to 1 out of every 10 people in the United States.  Oh land that I love!  And I love you in so many ways.

 

To me, this has to be the ultimate way of breaking into someone's system without their knowledge.  It's the equivalent of a wolf in sheep's clothing.  It looks like an anti-virus program (see the red X?)  It sounds like an anti-virus program (Security warning:  You're infected by some name that looks technical!).  I bet if you even licked it, it would TASTE like an anti-virus program.  Let's face it.  If you're "smart" enough to click on the OK button at this point, you're probably the 1 out of 10 who actually licks the monitor to taste that cheesecake you saw on foodnetwork.com.

 

At this point, it gets really fun.  We present the classic download box.  We even go through the trouble of doing some fancy installation.  In truth, we're getting access to all the really sensitive areas of the operating system that we'd normally never get doing the usual drive-by download.  You see, the only real roadblock in infection speed is the guy at the operating terminal.  He's the one that sets up the security.  He's the one that installs the programs.  If we can get in before he remembers to do all of that, then we've already made the necessary marks to do what we do best--destroy systems and steal data.

 

So when that popup comes up on your screen again, think of me dear friends!  Because when you push that OK button, I want you to think of me comming over to you, shaking your hand, and yelling "Thank you thank you, from the bottom of my heart!"  You truly are the reason why I'm still in the business!

One of my favorite things to do is to ruin people's lives and livelihood.  If you haven't picked up on that by now, then you really should be paying closer attention to my personal reflections here.  I mean, come on now!  You've made all this effort to check up on me and here I am giving you the best stories here on tyVille.  The least you could do is read them.  At any rate, here's another one for you to chew on and digest.  That's right, my fans.  Uncle Victor will never let you down.

Earlier this week, I get a call about a potential target that's been really getting on our nerves.  He's been bugging us about click fraud and how our ad support staff just isn't meeting his expectations.  I mean this guy has been calling us for weeks, several times a day.  It's at the point where they're starting to bug us to take a look at our ad system.  Well, enough is enough.  After all, we can't have this guy demanding great service for the paltry sum he's paying.  We're Poogull, after all.  We have millions of customers.  What's one less?

So I suit up and entered the net.  I found his system and quickly did away with his security.  You have to love a weak firewall and the absolute cheapest anti-virus software on the market.  Breaking in was like busting a piñata.  After I was in, I created a hole big enough for us to upload some pretty interesting programs and websites to his computer.  But that wasn't enough.  Oh no.  Computers to me are like potato chips and I can't just take down one.  So I infected his whole network with the same data.

Later that day, we get a call from the guys company telling us that we have a new liason.  It turns out that the guy we were dealing with had somehow got around the company firewall and managed to visit several child porn sites as well as other sites detailing how to make your own bombs and how to cook up several ounces of crystal meth.

*tch tch*

The morale of the story?  If you get on my nerves, your computer may just be the beginning of your problems.  Hahaha!

If you've been keeping up with me (yes, I know it's hard, but I'll forgive you), then you know that one of my best friends in this company is Bot Boss. He and I are the definition of "Partners in Crime". You see, it's my job to often break into a system and leave enough holes in the security so that anyone from Poogull can use the system at a later time. That job is often left to our CTO -- aka Bot Boss.

Now, I'm going to have to do something that I don't often do and give credit where credit is due. The only person meaner than me has to be him. While I can bring your system down, I often choose to leave the rest of the wetworks to him. It gives me time to find the next system, after all.

I got a call from him the other day on a target we recently hit. It seems that he's hit paydirt with some of the information one of his bots found. Apparently, while he was in the process of bringing down a couple of competing ISPs, he hit on a list of servers linked to tracking black market trade and credit card fraud rings.

Now, I know you're stuck on the "Why is that important" question. So I'm going to break it down for you in nice, simple, easy words.

Cold Click Fraud.

Yes, I know. Pretty sloppy work from old-man nickel and dime. But I have to hand it to the guy. He does pay the bills. And I'd rather be paid up than looking at bankruptcy because we were trying to do "the honorable thing".

Needless to say, I've hacked into each and every one of these systems. About 300 servers worldwide. But that's really only an hour's work with the netsuit. And now that we have another 300 servers wide open for attack, I think Bot Boss will have plenty of enjoyable work ahead of himself.

Things have been very hectic here in Poogull since Sly's little mishap with the red guy and the surfer dude.  I mean, let's face it.  Sly was good at what she did.  And she did it very well.  For months, she could keep my inbox full of new systems to infiltrate and specific sectors to hit.  But she's not irreplaceable.  And when I don't have Sly to turn to for new targets and reconnaisance, I rely on Plan B -- my department.

The letterhead may say "Victor Ivins, Director of Research & Design".  But everyone who knows better addresses me as the Leader of the Department of Research & Destruction.

Poogull only hires the best.  So don't get your hopes up unless you know someone.  And I'm definitely deserving of the hundreds of programmers, researchers, and idea-men that can find good targets on their own.  When all else fails, these guys will find it out for me.  The only difference between them and me?  I'm just that damn good.  Hahaha!

All kidding aside, my guys work very hard to do what Poogull does best--get into everything.  And we do it as fast as we can, before anyone has a chance to even think about catching us.  Even though there are anti-virus companies dedicated to stopping us and our activities, by the time they've figured out one cure, we're already infecting the world with our next virus.  Sasser, Melissa, Blaster....inspirations to truly behold and learn from.  And we're learning those lessons and taking them to the next level.

So watch out, tyBit.  You may think that there's just a few of us out to get you.  But there's more.  A lot more.  So many more it would take you years to count us all.  We are an army.  We are the unstoppable juggernaut.  And we're faster, better, and smarter than you'll ever be.  Just because you took out one of us doesn't mean that we're done with you.  Oh no!  We're coming.  And I'll be leading this charge.