With the state of the economy being what it is, I have been working with a friend to purchase his first vehicle. Now, considering how bad the economy is, you would think that companies would be chomping at the bit to finance. However, dealerships act like they have all the business in the world. Odd, how people continue to remain weary of those who have money, and want business.

· A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

· Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.

· Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

· Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

· Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

· Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

· If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

· Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

· Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'

· The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

· Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

· Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

· Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

· Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

· Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

· If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'

· Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.

· The good girls keep the diaries the bad girls never have the time.

· I always thought that if I were popular, I must be doing something wrong.

· Unfortunately, sometimes people don't hear you until you scream.

· The idea of strictly minding our own business is moldy rubbish. Who could be so selfish?

· When a man gets up to speak, people listen, the look. When a woman gets up people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.

· When you have a baby, you set off an explosion in your marriage, and when the dust settles, your marriage is different from what it was. Not better, necessarily; but different.

· It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.

· A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.(Gloria Steinem)

· Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.

· Personally, I think if a woman hasn't met the right man by the time she's 24, she may be lucky.

· Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

· Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.

· Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcoming, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's charachters.

· When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he's dead.

· A man's home may seem to be his castle on the outside; inside it is more often his nursery

· Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses; women for their strengths.

· The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

· Being a parent is tough. If you just want a wonderful little creature to love, you can get a puppy.

· The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love; which includes not only others but ourselves as well.

· If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question!

Why do people insist on waiting until the last possible minute to shop for domains? The traffic is horrid, the shopping is pointless, because everything worth buying is already bought. I think it's just one final piece of proof that the world around us is full of procrastinators.

A 13-year-old Edgecombe County, NC boy who was left tied to a tree for 18 hours last June died of dehydration and heat stroke, according to an autopsy report released Monday.

Tyler McMillan's parent found him unresponsive on June 12 after he had been left tied to a tree overnight as punishment, authorities said. He was pronounced dead at Heritage Hospital.

Prosecutors have charged his father and stepmother, Brice Brian McMillan, 41, and Sandra Elizabeth McMillan, 36, both of 1110 Felton Farm Road in Macclesfield, with murder and felony child abuse.

Brice McMillan told deputies that he twice tied his son to a tree as punishment for disobedience and that the boy was left outside overnight on the second occasion, authorities said.

A woman and a man who called 911 seeking help for the boy didn't answer a dispatcher when asked what the teen was doing before he stopped breathing.

Tyler McMillan had a body temperature of 105.6 degrees Fahrenheit when he was taken to the hospital, according to the autopsy report. Tests done after his death also showed a pattern of dehydration, the report states.

The boy had insect bites over his arms and legs and marks on his wrists and ankles that were consistent with plastic ties, according to the autopsy report. He also had bruises on his buttocks and legs that appeared to have been caused by a rod-like instrument, the report states.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What do you call lesbian dinosaurs?
A: The lickalotopuss and the clitolickumus.

Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semiautomatic rifles?
A: Militia Etheridge.

Q: What you do call a room full of 50 politicians and 50 lesbians?
A: 100 people who don't do dick!

Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to change it, two to organise the potluck, one to write a folk song about the empowering experience and one to set up the support group.

Q: Why do lesbians like whales so much?
A: Because they have 50 foot tongues and breathe out of the top of their heads!

Q: Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?
A: Someone has to mow the lawn.

Q: What kind of humour do lesbians like?
A: Tongue in cheek.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
A: Single.

Q: What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A: Gaylick.

Q: What do you call 20 lesbians in a tree?
A: A country.

Q. How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A. Instead of KY she insists on using WD40.

Q. What does a lesbian bring on her first date?
A. A removal van with all of her stuff in it.

Q. What does a gay guy bring on his second date?
A. What second date?

Q. What's the new politically correct name for a lesbian?
A. A vagitarian.

Q. What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of each other?
A. A block of flaps.

Recently, I have started my quit-smoking journey. Previously, I had made efforts using nicotine gum, the nicotine patch, and even Welbutrin, the mood-stabilitzing anti-depressant with anti-addiction properties. I found that to be the worst effort of all, as welbutrin tends to cause the user to lose interest in life in general. Most people experience a "zombie"-like day, walking around almost outside of themselves. Zyban has a list of potential side-effects that stretches a page and a half, so that wasn't a valid option, either.

However, I have found salvation, and its name is Chantix. Pfizer Pharmaceuticals has developed a drug which reduces not only your urge to quit smoking, but actually blocks the receptors in the brain that receive the nicotine, so if you should re-lapse while taking the drug, you can continue to take it, and quit again. The success rate for chronic smokers who have quit with Chantix is over 40%, a staggering number considering the effectiveness of Welbutrin is approximately 6% (compared to 18% with placebo).

Scary thoughts, eh? So if you're considering quitting, I recommend Chantix, you'll be glad you did.

Why is it that people feel compelled to wait until the end of the year to start shopping for christmas? Most of the sale prices are really just the same prices we've had all year. Procrastination only costs you more, because you spend more time, and more money now, than you would buying gifts early in the year. Personally, I buy christmas gifts immediately after the holiday, that way I don't have to remember to do so 11 months down the road. It's a good practice, and it works fairly well for me.

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Why don't they have Christmas in Chapel Hill?
-They can't find a virgin and three wise men.

What's the difference between a porcupine and the Dean Dome?
- a porcupine has 30,000 pricks on the outside.

What do you call 30 Carolina fans in a basement?......... A whine cellar. .

What's the first thing a UNC girl
does when she wakes up in the morning?
-Walks home.

What is the difference between a UNC
fan and a three-week-old puppy?
-Eventually the puppy will stop whining.

What do you call three beautiful women in Chapel Hill?
Lost.

Did you hear that Nike is coming out with a new shoe in March called "The Final Four?"
The special feature has no Heels.

Did you hear they were going to change the UNC mascot from a ram to a possum?
It's because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

How many UNC grads work for the Psychic Network?
None. They can't talk about the future...they only talk about the past.

How can you tell if a Carolina guy is a virgin?
He can outrun his roommate.

Why is it so windy in Durham?
Because Chapel Hill sucks.

UNC researchers announced that they've just discovered another use for sheep:..... Wool.

Q: How many guys from Carolina does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 2, but they have to be really small.

Don't you love the holidays? Good food, great times, and....well....your family. The one time of the year that we feel obligated to deal with those that we avoid the year long. Our family can be great fun, but they can also be great pains. I, personally, will enjoy my holiday in solitude, with a good book, and a long nap. Best wishes to you all, and a fun return to work!